Melissa Hertz

#NOTALLMENARETRASH

On Saturday, I had the honour of speaking at a High Tea for moms and their teenage sons. 

Due to the extremely violent crimes commited against women and children that have been reported in the news recently, a  popular hashtag here in South Africa right now is #menaretrash.

I titled my speech #notallmenaretrash, in an attempt to encourage and motivate these boys to be better men.

I told the story of how I know men who have behaved like trash, but also men who are of great value to this world. The opposite of trash is something valuable, and the main message that I hoped to get across to these boys, is that they have a choice between these two.
To be trash, and to make the world ugly and dirty. 

Or to be of value to this world, and to do great things and leave a legacy. 

I have been hurt by men who treated me like I was trash.

I have been sexually harassed, abused, abandoned and used. 

But, I have also been respected and protected by men out there who are not trash.

My grandfather, a respectable and kind man, is not trash.

My husband, a man of integrity, who honours me and my children, is not trash.  

My sons, Dominic, and Quade, are not trash.
And I will do my best to raise them up to be good men.

Perhaps, instead of calling all the men out there trash, we can try to speak life over the ones who are not. It is not fair to call young boys trash. Children will grow into what we speak over them.

To the men out there, the good ones, thank you.

Thank you for being a man of value. 

And please. Please protect us.

Teach your sons to respect women, and don't make fun of women.

Don't share content on your social media that is inappropriate. Don't encourage your friends to act violently. And stop watching porn- it is highly addictive, and studies show that it teaches men to dehumanize and objectify women. There is strong evidence that men who rape and sexually abuse women, watch pornography before committing the crime. So just don't.

Be the man that you wish your daughter could marry.
Add value to the world and make it a better place.

Be that guy. 

#notallmenaretrash
#protectus